Relationships need regular, active, whole-person engagement to thrive and succeed. This takes conscious effort and can yield tremendous results. But where and how do you start? And when? Try these 3 tips from a relationship counselor for a happy and healthy relationship in 2021. For best results, start now.
Ask questions like it’s your job.
Not in the laborious, demanding, self-aggrandizing kind of way. But, in the way spurred by genuine curiosity. In short, get curious! There are two important components to this, and one can’t happen as well without the other.
First, get curious about yourself.
Take the time to be introspective about yourself, your dreams, motivations, and emotions. Without this, you will have a hard time developing an awareness of others’ dreams, motivations, and emotions. Furthermore, you will struggle to understand how your actions or words impact another. Finally, without this step, you will find it difficult to communicate your needs, expectations, or hopes to your partner. because you will not have identified them. Don’t make this stuff up; do the work. There are countless tools and resources online and from trusted therapists to help you do this work.
Second, get curious about your partner.
Drs. John and Julie Gottman, founders and architects of the Gottman Method, have identified nine components of healthy relationships. In doing so, they have termed it the “Sound Relationship House Theory.” Under several of these components is an awareness or curiosity about your partner in the relationship. Further development means asking questions and engaging with the responses. Through this, you can work to cultivate strong, healthy relationships. (For more information, see Gottman Method Therapy).
Embrace the awkward.
We want all aspects of life to proceed without a mess. But, the truth is that relationships sometimes need these lurches. These fits come with doing life alongside another human being. We are messy creatures! We cannot expect our interactions with one another to always be comfortable and to flow. Embrace the awkward silences, the poorly worded responses, and the feeble steps https://lovingwomen.org/no/blog/kinesiske-datingsider/ forward.
Awkwardness and difficulty don’t diminish the longer you’ve been together. You either grow more comfortable with it and keep moving full speed ahead. Or, you decide that the awkward and hard isn’t worth it anymore. Regardless, don’t be afraid or shocked by it. Also, don’t be surprised when some of that appears through the best tools to strengthen your relationships. Your relationship counselor may ask you to engage in activities that might first seem uncomfortable. Whether as a regular relationship care tool or because things seem to be deteriorating. To those who embrace the awkward go the spoils.
Relationship Counseling is for smarties, not schmucks.
Couples who seek relationship counseling benefit from unbiased evaluations about the health of their relationship. Relationship counseling should be a tool for healthy couples to stay healthy. Not just for unhealthy couples looking to salvage the wreckage. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), is a tool for those looking to enhance and strengthen their relationships. It’s founded on the idea that we are relational, social beings. We create with an innate need to bond with others. As a result, it can help rank emotions and give tips for emotional regulation to aid us in our relationship goals. Or, you might seek out the tools offered by the Gottmans to help you build and strengthen your relationship. Ask for advice from healthy couples that also regularly seek counseling. This way, you may find a therapist who might be best suited for you and your partner. But don’t wait until the wheels come off. Keep your engines tuned and your car healthy with counseling. You won’t regret it.
Final Thoughts
There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to relationship hacks. You either work to find what fits for you and your partner, or you keep tilting at windmills. Try these three tips for your happy and healthy relationship in 2021. You, and perhaps your partner, are worth the effort.
Begin Couples Therapy and Marriage counseling Therapy In Wake Forest, NC
You deserve to have a strong, nurturing relationship. We hope to provide that support through our caring therapists that specialize in relationship counseling at our Wake Forest, NC therapy clinic. We can provide you with the support to make the most of your relationships. If you are interested in improving your relationship, follow these simple steps: